WHO SHOULD GIVE THE CARE?

What is Elder care to me?

To me it’s the doing for one who has lost the ability to care for him/herself and necessitates the intervention of a professional, para professional, or family member to intervene; to take over all the functions necessary for the individual to remain healthy and comfortable twenty-four hours of everyday. Quite a mouthful.  Elder care is a continuous process that does not stop when the caregiver has a headache or themselves are sick. If elder care is hijacked, then someone will die or suffer some grievous injury which could be fatal. When this sort of care has begun it requires total commitment until death intervenes.

Death usually intervenes but during the interim life must be maintained at all cost and with every goodwill and perfect intention toward the elderly who is at risk. Great consideration must be given to the one chosen as care-giver to make sure the pairing is compatible. Is this possible? The answer is iffy to go off vocabulary, because this is as difficult as asking me to make a cloud from scratch. I may think I know how but when I couple the forces I discover that the variables and particulates differ, and near destruction ensue.

This discussion is based on my personal experiences with elder-care seen through my professional eyes as well as the eyes of someone giving elder-care to a parent. When you are in these two roles at the same time under unique conditions just about anything can, and will occur. Under these set of conditions the care-giver will indubitably suffer deeply and perhaps create family divisions.

In this duality, if the care-giver is in mid-life and has her own needs, should those needs take precedent over the professional role? Is it better not to take on this role? Each case has to be looked at on an individual basis because of the many domestic, financial, and need based variables that do exist. No two patients are alike, regarding any of the variables nor will they require the same set of home care functions.

Extract: “I am still the Queen” a working title.