Once upon a time a Weasel named “Jonah Weasel” the first, was sent out by the Zoo Keeper to do a very important job.  This job would certainly cost him his life but he agreed to do it because it would save the lives of millions of creatures in the Zoo galaxy.  He mainly wanted to do this job to please the Zoo Keeper who was everything to him.  He knew that as soon as possible the Keeper would by some strange force restore his life by putting his DNA into all other Weasels from here on.  Jonah would become immortal.  While he was no future Henrietta Lacks, the human life-giving force of the 21st century, he considered himself incredibly important for the continuity of the Zoo and its occupants the way the Keeper designed it.  Jonah loved his keeper dearly. Jonah dropped the tablet in the well water and their tongues split up.

Fast forward to 1998. About 10,000 scientists (Physicists to be exact), from all over the planet harnessed their efforts to build an instrument which they named the Hadron Collider. A Hadron, put simply is a colorless or white particle in Physics.  Physicists who study Particle Physics love Hadrons.  They love them because they contain core features in all particles, if I can say that,  they are the main particle, and hold the key to fundamental information.  Information such as what came first, the Chicken or the egg, does God exist? And so on.  We don’t get more fundamental than those two questions.  With that said, a huge machine was built underground to study particles in every activity.  This seventeen mile superconducting machine was built in Switzerland along the French border under the auspices of CERN.  Inside the Collider there are tubes in its gigantic magnetic corridors. Here particles are chased around at the speed of light in opposite directions as the Scientists try to create the singular moment representing the Big Bang.

Come even closer, 2016, April.  The Collider. was interrupted very suddenly and CERN stood still. Nothing. Nothing moved, ticked, tocked, swirled, whooshed, warped or quarked.  The Collider went seemingly dead. In truth the Collider is a man-made god that the scientists are trying to force secrets from. Was he now dead? Did god die on April 29^th 2016?  The scramble afterward to find out exposed the cause of the sudden collapse of the Collider, the god was not dead, he only fell asleep momentarily because a Weasel had chewed away at some very vital and strategically placed wires inside the belly of the Collider.  The Weasel of course was burned to ashes and the ultra-charred remains were found at the point of destruction.

Did a Weasel bring down the new and improved Babel? The humans hid the new Babel underground because they perhaps feared that God might notice them as He did when they built up toward the heavens and intervened with the language mix-up.  Let us speculate. If there is a God who came before all Chickens and Eggs. A God that made the Universe and engineered all that occupies it, wouldn’t it seem impossible to know this God? After all, if I met God today, as far as I would be concerned after meeting him, there is no God because I now know him. I can see him and now he is in lower caps like I am.   We are equal and will eventually pass away. How ordinary is that? Who can find God?

Let us speculate further. Suppose there is an eternal God, then the Hadron Collider is offensive and by all means it ought to be destroyed on a regular basis.  To do it in one blast would be counter-productive. This thinking compassionate God Particle would therefore be very reasonable and apply all divine empiricism and instead, call upon His faithful servant “Jonah Weasel the Modern”. 

Once again, because of his faithful and obedient genetic lineage established long long ago, Jonah the Modern takes the job and gnaws the heck out of the very important electrical wiring inside the Collider, shutting it down prior to the gathering of new and  important data on Higgs Boson, considered to be the cornerstone of the modern theory of Particle Physics.  Now we won’t know. Not just yet.  Speculating further afield, are we in a battle with a God who always finds a David to face Goliath?  A Weasel versus a Collider. Who ever heard of such a thing? It happened on April 29^th 2016. Mark the date on your calendars.