The problem with relationships and marriages today can all be attributed to Oprah and the Government.  Oprah was the one who told women on National Television that if they were unhappy in any relationship they should leave.  The Government gave women rights and authority to sue and call the police if they experienced real or perceived threats.  Women today have too much power, the speaker continued, which leads to a of lack respect for their husbands.   They want to take charge as if they are heads of household.  It’s as if they have stepped out of their minds.  Imagine not minding what her husband instructs?  How can that be beneficial to a marriage? The Government has even put up blocks of apartments primarily for single women and their children.  Apartments that a man cannot rent or be seen in. Imagine that!! The situation today is alarming to say the least. Imagine he said, as he ended his speech, “I had to leave my last woman because she had way too many expectations and did not know her place in the relationship.  Garbage, she was nothing but garbage, so I left her”.

I could hear the delicate snipping of the Barber’s scissors over my head as he cut my hair.  He had long since stopped breathing.  Ever since the voice of his fellow Barber started to fill the room regarding the evolution of women from crawling insects to upright persons, and how such a rise contributed to every one of society’s ills, primarily the downfall of marriages and the family unit.  I could sense that he was embarrassed. He swiveled the chair and I met his eyes in the mirror. My eyes told him that it was all right for him to breathe, I was not going to hold him responsible for his colleagues’ Neanderthal state of mind.

Done trimming my hair, I  stood up to leave and noticed that several men were seated in the shop and their focus was on me with ranging states of expressions. Would I respond, or acquiesce, their faces seem to ask?  The speaker noted me carefully.  His eyes confirmed all of my five feet six inches and settled on my lips. They have always been my Venus Fly trap. Today however, I had no honey to waste and I did not eat Warthogs under any circumstance.   He had a broad happy smile but his eyes showed unintelligent fear.

“How are you today ma’am?” He queried, aiming to appear relaxed.

“I am well, thank you for asking”. My eyes bored into his and hooked the six cells I saw pulsing.

“I hope you are not mad at what I said just now? “He guffawed.

“Not at all, considering that you were not speaking to me nor about me.

Nothing that you said resonated with me because the world that you described so feverishly is not one I am familiar with; it is however one that I have read about when women indeed were treated like commodities.  That is not the situation today. My great female ancestors fought and won the right for women to have freedom of speech, the right to decide who she would marry, the right to go to school, and the opportunity to earn. Women have options and are no longer commodities.

I heard all that you said and I am wondering why as a modern man your rhetoric is so archaic.  It appears that you have not heard the news of August 1920.  We, Women, can now vote and sit on Juries and make decisions. Yes, we have come a very long way, but we have come and are here to stay by your side as your equals, as your companions, your wives, if you please us, we are here as your lawyers, your doctors, or as we find it necessary to be, and by the way, in the case of your last woman, how on earth could she be garbage? What does that make you?  I paused to make room for him.

His eyes collapsed in his head and his tongue darted across his meaty lips. A Dinosaur, I was looking at a Dinosaur in 2016. I released his six brain cells. he would need them to get home to the cave.

The response to my question came from the back of the shop, “No doubt the dumpster, if she was garbage”, a male voice spoke.

I bid him a good day and went about my business.  Here is a man lost in space and time.  Who will rescue him?

Hilary for President, or not.  Let’s put a cork in it.